THE CHURCH OF CHRISTIFANITY

THE RESURRECTION OF THE BLOG

2010-02-15T17:15:00.002-06:00

FROM THE ASHES THE CHRISTIFANITY BLOG IS RISING LIKE THE MIGHTY PHOENIX.

I HAVE DECIDED THAT THE TIME IS RIGHT TO BRING BACK THE BLOG THAT CHANGED THE GAME FOREVER. THE NEW CHRISTIFANITY BLOG WILL BE BIGGER, SMARTER AND MORE RELEVANT THEN EVER BEFORE.

IT IS TIME TO CHANGE THE WORLD

SINCERELY

CHRISTOPHER BLAIR

Kicks Just Seem To Get Harder To Find

2007-08-23T13:46:00.000-06:00

It has been about a month since my last blog. To be perfectly honest I have lost interest in my blog. I am farely confident that no one really cares what I have to say, I can't blame them, I don't even care about my opinions.

I developed another infection in my incision. This one was not as severe as the other, but I did have to go to the ER for three days straight every eight hours to get IV antibiotics. I have been on oral antibiotics for the past week and I am feeling good. Before the infection struck I was feeling really good and getting ready to get my life back on course, but now I am back to taking meds and incision leakage. Life Sucks.

This could be my last blog.
cbn

I Only Have Eyes For You

2007-07-23T01:15:00.000-06:00

Its been a while blog. I've missed you.

Nicole says that now that I am feeling better that I should be blogging, but it is hard to blog when your life for the past two months has been trying to recover from having a 15 inch scar carved into your abdomen. Truth be told the incision has not completely healed yet, but I do feel better (still get tired easily).

I am mobile now though, this meaning that I am driving and doing a minimal amount of socializing outside of the confines of my home, mostly with my stepbrother who is slowly recovering from a herniated disc in his back.

I am also slowly starting my partying ways again. Enough said.

I don't have any really good stories to tell from recent days in my life. I do have a lot of good stories regarding my surgery and the long recovery process. I will not be writing these stories on the blog, but rather I will tell them in my upcoming book Hernia: The Story of One Man's stoic fight to recover from a major abdomen operation while trying to keep his integrity and honour. The book will also deal with the nasty infection I got two weeks later and the second stay in the hospital I had to endure.

One recent event I can talk about is something that happened a few days ago. So I am going to my stepbrother's condo to watch HD TV and chill, on the way to his condo I stopped to get us lunch. We decided to have some Wendy's, me being the adventerous type decided to try the new Baconator. So I order, pay, and drive to my stepbrother's condo. Upon opening my burger I discovered that the burger guy or gal at Wendy's neglected to put any bacon on my Baconator. As you all can imagine I was very upset, but not upset enough to do anything about it. It was very dissapointing I was so looking forward to tasting the sweet baconiness of the Baconator. I am now boycotting Wendy's.

Later
Neltron

Hernia

2007-06-05T09:53:00.000-06:00

Hello everyone

For those who do not know, On May 22nd I had to have emergency surgery to repair a hernia that was in my stomach. The hernia was blocking my bowel and it was making for a few very unpleasent days before I was finally convinced to go to the hospital.

The surgery went extremely well and I am back home recovering.

I have many stories to tell surrounding the events of the surgery and I will publish them at a later date, but for now my focus is on getting better.

Later
chris

Sugar High !

2007-05-06T14:05:00.000-06:00

Hello

This was my facebook photo for a while, for some reason I love this picture. I took it in a hostel room in Wellington New Zealand, my back was really bothering me and I had no energy to explore the city

For those of you who do not know my sister is getting married in just under two weeks and as part of the wedding, guests are being given a little box of choclates at the reception. So a couple of days ago members of my family and I had the thankless job of tasting various kinds of choclate. It was rough having so many different choclate options to taste and choose from, but eventually we settled on some delicious choclate options. I am very happy that this is a wedding I do not have to MC. Don't get me wrong I enjoyed being the MC at my cousins wedding, but I get really nervous when I have to do public speaking.

My only responsibility for this wedding is some ushering for the ceremony, which I am doing with my brother Paul, should be painless. After that it is off to the reception where there is an open bar and as you all know, that means awesome drunk Chris will be making an appearance.

The Red Wing won their last game yesterday quite handily and hopefully they can finish that series tomorrow. The Raptors unfortunately lost on Friday, they had a great season and a great future a head. Luckily the Golden State Warriors won and I will be cheering for them for the rest of the playoffs.

Facebook continues to inject it's delcious addictive qualities into my system. I can't control myself

Later

christopher

We Bring It On And On

2007-05-03T12:35:00.000-06:00

As promised another blog

These pictures are all from New Zealand.

There is the rocky ocean view from Wellington, My Maori brothers who I met at a rugby game, and a view of Auckland from a Ferry

Thankfully the Red Wings squeezed out a victory last night in overtime. When they were down 2-0 I was convinced that they were done, but like a great team they proved me wrong.

The Raptors also one their last game and they live to play another day. That day is Friday and hopefully they can win in New Jersey. Golden State blew a chance to send Dallas packing the other day, but they have another chance tonight at home.

On Saturday I was having drinks with Dave, Twyla, and Jeff at O'Shea's and I looked up and made eye contact with a dude who was walking by. We looked at each other and we both recognized each other. He came over to our table and said "didn't I meet you in Munich" and sure enough he did. It was a bit crazy running into someone who I met in Germany. I remembered later that he was a geologist and his company does a lot of work in Northern Saskatchewan and their office is in Saskatoon. It was a bit crazy, my mind was blown.

Later Kids

neltoid

Now We Sip Champagne When We Thirsty

2007-05-01T12:44:00.000-06:00

It has a been a week and half since I blogged. I don't know if I am losing the passion I once had for blogging or whether my life is so boring right now that I have nothing good to write about. I went back and looked at my blog from last year and I realized that I use to put a lot more effort into writing this thing. I am going to try and get back to the high quality of blogging that I know I can achieve.

I would also llike to thank ODB for encouraging me to blog more last night.

This is the best time of the year if you are a sports fan. NBA and NHL playoffs are in full effect.

The Raptors have been very dissapointing the last two games, hopefully they can rebound tonight and extend their series. Despite the lack of success by the Raptors I am still finding joy in the NBA playoffs because of the Golden State Warriors. They have a chance to knock off one of the best teams in NBA history tonight when they play the Dallas Mavericks. If Golden State wins it will be the biggest playoff upset ever in the NBA.

My Red Wings lost last night in a tight game against San Jose. I am not worried because I think this series is going to go seven games and hopefully the Wings can pull it out in the end.

My continuing obsession with Facebook is still very strong.

I am currently reading a book called American Dynasty. It is all about the Bush family and their shady doings throughout American histroy. Very interesting if you are a Poli-Sci nerd like myself.

I promise I will blog again by Thursday

Later
cbn

Satan Is My Lady

2007-04-19T12:34:00.000-06:00

Hello friends.

I havn't blogged for a week. The reason behind this is that I have become hooked on the online high school reunion that is Facebook. Damn you Anna Bond for getting me hooked.

Kudos to Dave for his increase in blogging lately.

It sounds like Jeff's Sim's versions of us is just like the real versions of us. You know me flirting with Kim, Jeff getting jealous.

I'm not worried about the Redwings loss to Calgary on Tuesday. They'll bounce back and beat Calgary tonight. I am officially getting destroyed in the MathC30 hockey pool. Judging by the emails that have been sent this pool is getting a bit personal. I love it. I'm going to send a nasty email to JB to keep the bad blood flowing.

Chow For Now

Nelson

This Time I'm Back On My Grind

2007-04-12T14:29:00.000-06:00

Greetings earthlings

Not much new in my world.

Today is my sister's birthday, Happy Birthday Leanne.

I am happy to report that after one day of the NHL playoffs I am in second place in the Math C30/Mrs. Roberts class annual playoff draft. After a dissapointing year last year in which I finished in the middle of the pack I plan on winning and dominating this years playoffs. I will continue to update you on my teams progress.

I am stoked for the Red Wings game tonight. We are going to destroy the Flames.

I'm going to see 300 tonight. I have been told it is extremely violent. Should be awesome.

Today's pictures are as follows

1)Jordan on the way up the canyon

2)View on the way up the canyon

3)Me at the ocean lookout on top of the canyon

4)Bondi beach in Sydney

Later friends and well wishers.

Now I'm Titanic, Iceberg's My Name

2007-04-06T16:34:00.000-06:00

I'm bored and sitting at my computer so I have decided to blog. I really have nothing to say or report.

I shaved my beard today.

I found out yesteday that my neice loves it when I pretend to get angry and yell at people. She has a toy phone that rings and every time it would ring I would pick it up and pretend that someone was on the other line and I would yell at them and tell them to stop calling me. I have never seen her giggle for so long.

The picture is of the area where M&D had their ceremony. Very Nice

I can't think of anything else to type.

nelson

More Pictures!

2007-04-03T18:59:00.000-06:00

Here are a few more pics for you all:

1)Banks-Demuth, Sparrow, and I

2)Sunset on the Booze Cruise

3)Deanna's Mom and I

4)Coolangata Beach in Australia

5)Drunk Mike in an Auckland Bar

Good Old-Fashioned Lover Boy

2007-03-30T13:41:00.000-06:00

Back in the blogosphere

Sorry for the lack of blogging lately. To make this up to all of you I have put up some awesome pictures from Hawaii, Australia, and New Zealand up for you.

It has been over a week since I have been home and I have enjoyed my time back. I can't really make a decision on what I am doing next until I get an idea of when my hernia surgery is going to be. I meet with my surgeon in 2 weeks and hopefully that will help clear up the fog surrounding my future.

The pictures are of:

1)Mike and I on the Booze Cruise

2)View from Waimai Canyon

3)Hawaiian Sunset

4)Me and the Opera House

5)Deanna and I at the Rugby game

More pics to come

Later

chris

Running Back To Saskatoon

2007-03-19T13:26:00.000-06:00

Greetings from home.

Well I survived the marathon travelling day and I have made it home safe and sound.

My flights wern't actually that bad. I ended up having an emergeny row all to myself from Sydney all the way to Vancouver, so I got to stretch out and have lots of leg room. I watched 3 movies. 2 were really bad, those being A Good Year starring Russell Crowe and The Guardian starring Kevin Costener and Kutcher. The third was Night At The Museum which was pretty good. I am going to have to see it again, as you all know seeing a movie on a plane is not the best way to expereince a film. I also watched a Looney Tunes cartoon involving Speedy Gonzalez and Sylvester the Cat which I found hilarious.

The only real downside of the travelling was about 2 hours into my first flight my Ipod completely froze and I had no clue why or how to fix it. My first theory was that an electro-magnetic pulse had been set off some where over the Pacific and my Ipod was the only thing effected. I was very bitter that I did not have music for the trip, as I have said to many people I would not have made it through Europe without my Ipod.
Upon arriving home I learned that I just had to reset it which took about six seconds.

Now that I am home I have no clue what I am doing with my life. A decision will be made soon, keep checking the blog for more details.

Later
christopher

We Have The Sexy Time

2007-03-14T18:15:00.000-06:00

Well the Honeymoon is over, well at least the part with me. I left Mike and Deanna last night. The three of us had a rockin' good time this past 6 days.

I flew into Auckland last night and spent the night in the Auckland airport. Those 8 hours went by slowly. I did manage to get some sleep, but I would wake up every half hour or so and realize I was in an airport. I also had some crazy dreams

New Zealand is a lot of fun. I highly recommend you all go. We spent the the past couple of days in the capital of Wellington. This is also the home of Peter Jackson and the filming location for many of the scenes in The Lord of The Rings.

Deanna and Myself's nerd factors have gone up drastically since yesterday when we took a Lord of The Rings tour. It was very informative and interesting. It was also a good way to see a lot of the countryside. It did however start to rain heavily during the tour which completely ruined Rivendell for me. Mike was going to come, but he had a tummy ache(I wish you could type sarcasm). Anyways I hope you guys enjoy the rest of your trip. Even though it will totally suck with out me.

In Under 48 hours I will be beginning the long process of getting home. I have been dreading this day. Not the coming home part, but rather the travelling for like 24 hours. 18 hours to Vancouver, 5 hour layover in Vancouver, and 3 hours from Vancouver to Saskatoon, brutal.

The next blog will be from Glorious nation of Canada

see ya real soon

cn

Beer + Rugby + An English Guy = Madness

2007-03-11T00:41:00.000-06:00

Hello party people

So last night we went to a New Zealand rugby game at Eden Park. We decided that it would be prudent to do some pre-drinking because we figured stadium booze would be ridiculously expensive. So we drank some rum and then we went down to the hostel bar where we were entitled to a free beer and we drank the beer and because our bus wasn't there yet we had more beer.

We then hopped on the bus and went to the stadium, at the stadium we hooked up with an English chap nmaed Michael who was staying in the same dorm as me. Upon entering the stadium we discovered that beer was relatively cheap so we bought a bunch. English Michael explained the rules of rugby to us and I think we picked it up pretty quick.

The Blues(the hometown team) were playing the Lions from South Africa. I of course passionately cheared for the Blues. So much so that I lost my voice for a while today. Rugby is a fun sport to see live, lots of violence. We also met three Maori dudes who were sitting infront of us. They were good guys.

By the start of the second half I would say I was pretty drunk, so I bought more beer and we all got even more drunk. There are some good pics that I will post when I get home. The game ended and the Blues trounced the Lions in an impressive victory.

We got back to the hostel where again we were entitled to a free beer. So we decided to drink some more beers. Then English Michael decided we needed to some Jager bombs. So we did Jager bombs.

By the end of the night I was hitting on two Norwegian girls ands stumbling a bit. Mike was high fiving everyone who walked pass and Deanna was chatting up a storm with random people at the bar.

It was a pretty good night. Needless to say we are all a bit slow today and we havn't really done anything except sleep, eat and do laundry

We are off to Wellington tomorrow.

Later
cb

Well Shock Me Shock Me

2007-03-09T20:25:00.000-06:00

Hey party people

Well to my surprise Mike and Deanna decided to jet off from Fiji and come to Auckland and come spend a couple extra days with yours truly. I read this on there blog yesterday, but I didn't know when they were coming, so I went about my day of exploring Auckland harbour and then I decided to go back to my room and have a power nap, as I was fading asleep I see someone burst through the door and try to slap my knee...Mike Larson. So we hung out all yesterday night and today we took a ferry to Devenport and explored over there. Tonight is the big night though, we are going to go see some New Zealand rugby action. I predict a riot(started by Mike and I ).

We also have tomorrow and most of Monday together. Monday night Mike and Deanna take an overnight bus to Wellington while I fly so we'll be seperated for like 12 hours. It's awesome to have people around who I know.

I'm home in a week.

later

nelson

Z-LAND

2007-03-08T18:31:00.000-06:00

Greetings from Auckland

I got here yesterday afternoon, I found my hostel, no problem. I flew an Argentinian airline over here, everything was in Spanish I was confused, but it was cheap so who cares.

I don't think a week is going to be enough to do everything this country has to offer. There is so much stuff to do, I'm overwhelmed. One thing I am for sure doing is going to a Rugby game on Saturday. I'm going to get super drunk and rowdy.

I think I am going to go explore downtown Auckland today. There is a giant tower here, the biggest in the southern hemisphere.

Well I'm going to go fight a kiwi.

Warmest regards

Nelson

My Dad Is Tougher Then Your Dad

2007-03-07T02:46:00.000-06:00

Well my dad had knee replacement surgery today. I got a email from my sister and she told me that everything went well. Apparently Billy is in a little bit of pain because this is the first time in 30 years that his knee is actually fully straightened, the tendond arn't use to being so stretched out. During the surgery the doctors also discovered that Billy had a torn ligament from his initial knee injury 30 years ago. So my dad had been walking, golfing, curling and doing many other activities for the past 30 years with a torn ligament. 30 years ago when Billy injured his knee playing football the doctors told him it was just a strain. Upon hearing this my dad said "stupid doctors" And people wondered why I never played football. I like my knees.

The good news is that Billy will be out of the hospital by the weekend and he is suppose to rehab for 6-8 weeks, but anyone who has spent any significant amount of time with my dad knows that he is a stuborn man and as my sister says he will probably try to go back to work in 2 weeks, luckily I will be home by then and I will enforce the rules of rehab.

I don't know if I have mentioned at all in past blogs, but I'm off to New Zealand tomorrow.

Look out Kiwi's, the leader of Christifanity is coming to spread the gospel of the world's greatest unorganized religion

later
cbn

Beauty Is In The Eye Of The Tiger

2007-03-05T20:01:00.000-06:00

I am back in Sydney. I am going to relax and take it easy here for a couple of days then as you all know Z-land.

My trip up the coast was a success. I checked out Byron Bay which is a very cool spot. I did not get to Australia zoo, I did a little investigating and I found out it is very erpensive to get in. And what's the point of going if I have no chance of meeting the Croc Hunter(Stupid Stingray). I am going to go check out a zoo here in Sydney tomorrow.

My flight yesterday was the most turbulent flight of my life it seemed like every 2 minutes we would hit a patch of turbulence. It was crazy. During the worst part of the turbulence "Shook Me All Night Long" by ACDC came on my Ipod, I had to laugh.

Yesterday at the Brisbane airport I was "randomly"(they were totally racially profiling me)selected to be tested for explosive material. They wave this thing that looks like a glue gun all over your body and your carry on items. No explosive material was found. I did have a nice chat with the guy administering the test. He called Canadians "the good North Americans"

That's it for today.

Sincerely

nelson

Hot As Balls!

2007-03-02T02:05:00.000-06:00

As my title suggests Australia is as hot as balls. For those who don't know I often describes many random things as being either as hot or cold as balls. Just one of those weird things I'm known for I guess.

It is kind of hard to get motivation to do things down here because of the heat. I could go out and do some exploring, or I could stay in the air conditioned hostel or the really air conditioned mall next door.

Last night was a bit crazy. I day drank(not much, a few beers) and this made me rather tired so I decided to have an early night(10:30pm) At about 11 my 3 new roomamtes came in. They are loud, young party girls from Vancouver(Well one was actually born in Saskatoon, when she asked me where in Canada I was from and I told her Saskatoon she got very excited, and one is actually a gay guy). As I said they were loud. They had just landed in Australia and they decided to fight jetlag and go party. 5 years ago I could have fought jetlag as well. I felt like the oldest 25 year old in Australia. One of the girls came back like an hour later and passed out, while the other two very loudly got home at like 6am. They woke up around the same time I did, 11am(yes I got over 12 hours of sleep, shutup) And to no ones surprise they were still a little hammered. Testament to the fact they were still hammered was the 2 spilt beers and the stepping on and explosion of a giant bag of Doritos. I just laid in bed with a grin on my face as they drunkinly cleaned up and I realized how happy I was that I wasn't a dumb 20 year old any more.

Later friends and family, I miss you all very much and I can't wait to get home

chris

P.S.

I don't want it to sound like I am not having a good time, because I am. Some days are just long and hot

Brisbane

2007-02-28T03:21:00.000-06:00

Greetings from fantastic Brisbane

I rolled in here earlier today. I have spent the past 4 nights on the Gold Coast. I stayed a hostel, which was actually the house of an older couple named Anne and Kerry(It was more like a B&B). It was very nice. I basically had the basement of their house to myself. A double bed, TV, Kitchen, everything a dude needed.

The house was out in like the suburbs of the city of Coolangata, so it was kind of hard to get anywhere. I did manage to do some explorin'. I checked out some beaches, including Surfer's Paradsise. Which is this extremely tacky little town that is geared at tourists, but it was worth checking out.

Brisbane seems like a really cool city. Apparently it consistently rates as one of the best places to live in the world. I am here for 4-5 days then I am back to Sydney for a few days. then I am off to New Zealand, which I am really looking forward to. I spend 4 days in Auckland, on the third day the Honeymooner's fly into town and we have about 3 days of crazy fun together. We go to Wellington the day after they arrive, them on a 11 hour bus, me on a 1 hour plane, Suckers.

I don't have many specific goals while I'm here in Brisbane. I think I am going to go check out Byron Bay(the most easternly point of Oz) and hopefully Australia Zoo(Croc Hunters Zoo, R.I.P)

I din't have internet access the past 4 days so I apologize for the lack of emails and blogging, I'll make up for it this week.

See You All Real Soon

christopher

BONDI

2007-02-22T18:17:00.000-06:00

Yesterday I ventured to the infamous Bondi beach here in Sydney. For those who don't know Bondi is the large public beach here in town. I did a lot of relaxing, checking out all the pretty ladies, you know typical Nelson stuff.

Then it started to rain and get cold, so my spirit was weakened. There was a mad rush to the bus stops, so instead of waiting around for a bus like a chump I went and ate at the Noodle King where I had Pad Thai and it was delicious. By the time I was done my delicious noodle dish the lines at the bus stops were much shorter and I ventured over and hopped a bus back to Bondi Junction, then I took a train back to my hostel.

I am staying at the Blue Parrot hostel in the Potts Point area of Sydney. It is a cool little neighborhood with a lot of bars, cafes and restaurants. Tonight is my last night here, because tomorrow I am off to the Gold Coast, which is apparently touristy but beautiful.

I think my week in Hawaii has spoiled my traveling frame of mind. In Europe I did not mind being alone, but now I am feeling lonely. I miss having 10 friends around to go do stuff with. Anybody want to catch a quick 18 hour flight to Sydney? I just have to remind myself that I will be meeting up with Mike and Deanna in a couple of weeks.

Later

cbn

Vegimite Sandwich?

2007-02-21T01:27:00.001-06:00

Greetings from Good Ol' Australia

I landed here in Sydney on Monday the 19th (Sunday the 18th for you people in Canada). So yes I am in the future and I could tell you what happens in the future, but the Australian government makes you promise not to before entering the country, Sorry.

Upon arriving at my hostel I immediately fell asleep. Even though my flight was only 11 hours from Honolulu it still took a lot out of me.

Sydney is an awesome city. I am here until Saturday(Canadian Friday) then I am flying up to the Gold Coast.

It was quite hard to leave the paradise of Hawaii, but I forced myself. Upon arriving at the Honolulu airport I was met by my awesome new friend and future yoga instructor Sandy and to my surprise Tina who had some flight issues. So the three of us spent around 6 hours hanging at the airport. We discovered a tasty little beverage known as a Macadamia Nut Mai Thai. Delicious! $8.00 a pop but totally worth it.

I think I am going to go check out Bondi Beach tomorrow. Andrea warned me about Bondi, I hope I come back the same man.

It is also ridiculously hot and humid here everyday. This makes it really hard to do a lot in a day , which I found out yesterday when I completely exhausted myself. I did however get to see the Opera House. My mom told me I should go see a performance at the Opera House no matter what, but my only option was a Marionette production and I couldn't justify spending $65 on creepy puppets.

Later peeps

It's Hard To Get Cold Feet On A Tropical Island

2007-02-17T03:24:00.000-06:00

Well it is official Mike and Deanna are Man and Wife.

It was a great ceremony and reception. Many pictures were taken so I shall share them with you all when I get back to Saskatoon.

I have had an amazing week here in Hawaii and I am sad that it is coming to an end. But I have to look at the positives like the fact I'm off to Austraila tomorrow.

I reckon I'm going to have a rippin good time

G'Day

Neltoid

Friday Night Punani Patrol

2007-02-12T13:34:00.000-06:00

Greetings from beautiful Kauai

This place is amazing. You hear things about Hawaii being a magical place, but you do not realize how true that is until you come here.

Everyone flew into Kauai yesterday, it seems like almost everybody has some kind of plane trouble during their adventures to get here. Lots of delays, Joel was robbed at the Vancouver airport and other interesting events. But all of that doesn't matter now because this place kicks some serious ass.

Saturday was great because we all reunited. Everyone was very excited to see everybody else, despite the fact we were all tired and smelly from travelling.

Sunday was aweome. We all got up and had some breakfast, then we all eventually ended up on the beach. I forgot how great it was to just bob and swim in the ocean. All 10 of us who are staying at the party house were all down there at one point. We also soaked up a lot of sun. A few burns were discovered but nothing major. After our afternoon at the beach we went on the much anticipated booze cruise. And the cruise did not disapoint.

There over 30 of us from the Larson-Fast Wedding on the cruise, we basically took over the boat. We sat outside on this floor made from a trampoline and cruised the Pacific ocean while dudes came and gave drinks. We saw some whales which was awesome, at one point they were quite close to the boat. One of the employees decided to serenade Mike and Deanna with some local songs, which included a song called Punani Patrol. Which might be the greatest song ever. The combination of booze and the song was magical. Anna Bond got it on video so hopefully I can get it from her. A bit later after chicken wings and pineapple were served we saw so many dolphins swimming along side the boat. It was truly amazing. They were jumping out of the water and at one point we saw a whale and the dolphins, so cool. The booze cruise will definately be one of the highlights of the trip.

Well that's it for today, I think I'm going to go hop in my Chevy Uplander(best van/SUV ever) and go for drive then probably go to the beach and play in the ocean and work on my tan.

Wish You Were Here

Neltoid

ALOHA: It means Hello and Goodbye

2007-02-08T23:11:00.000-06:00

Greetings my friends, family, and well wishers

This is my last blog from chilly Saskatoon for the next 5 weeks. Tomorrow I am off to Hawaii to witness the marriage of my good friends Mike Larson and Deanna Fast. I am very happy for both Mike and Deanna, but I am disappointed that they decided not to have a traditional Christifanity wedding which as we all know involves lots of booze, drugs, nudity, and farm animals........ah such as life.

After my week in Hawaii I go to Austraila and New Zealand for a month. In New Zealand I will be meeting up with Mike and Deanna for a few days on their honeymoon. Who hasn't dreamt of honeymooning with a close friend.
I am back on St Patrick's Day(March 17). So If any one wants to go for some green beers when I get back let me know.

Like on my last trip I will be sure to post on my glorious blog as much as possible and hopefully get some pics for you all to enjoy.

Other things to report:

I tried the videogame guitar hero at my cousins house and I must admit I was very impressed.

I would also like to thank Dave, Eli and Twyla for having me over for supper on Wednesday. It was the first homecooked meal in a while for me. I didn't even realize that there was no delicious meat until many hours later.

The new episode of LOST yesterday was totally amazing. Dave remember to tape the episodes for me. Twyla---nag him constantly so he remembers. If you could also tape 24 for me that would be great. Next week it's 2 hours long so tape accordingly.

I had a small shindig this past weekend. It was for Dave's upcoming 26th birthday and a going away party for Mike and Deanna because of their extendo-honeymoon. Many drinks were had and a good time was had by all. Also happy birthday Nicole.

Next time you read a new blog from me I'll be basking in the warmth of a tropical paradise.

Later suckers

neltoid

All My Dreams Consist Of Combing My Hair

2007-02-04T06:46:00.000-06:00

Hello people who read my blog, some of you are from different parts of the galaxy, but I love you just the same like Jar Jar Binks. Meezah Love Everybody!!!!!

I see everyone has read my detailed book on the phenomenon of blogging called Chris Nelson and the Amazing Fantasmigorical Interweb. It was the best selling book of the year 2001. Read it homies.

Go to Jeff's blog for the continuation of this awesome blog.

Warmest Regards

chris

When It Comes To OPP, Damn Skippy I'm With It!

2007-01-31T17:26:00.000-06:00

I went out and shovelled my driveway today and then I looked outside a couple hours later to see that it was snowing again. How frustrating. I hate shovelling. I have a big driveway and that means a lot of snow. I have also occupied my day with laundry. For some reason I like doing my own laundry. One of my pet peeves is other people doing my laundry. I have been like this since I was like 13.

If anyone checked out Dave's blog today you would notice the announcement for the b-day/going away party this Saturday February 3rd. This will be everyone's oppurtunity to celebrate Dave's birthday and to say goodbye to Mike and Deanna who leave on the 5th for their wedding/honeymoon. You can also come say goodbye to me, but I will only be gone for 5 weeks while M & D will be gone for 5 months. I fortunately will be able to see M & D a bit more because I'll be at the wedding in Hawaii(Kauai) and I can confirm that I will be meeting them in New Zealand in Mid March. I found a really good deal on a return ticket from Sydney to Auckland.

Here are some pics of Kauai. I post these pics to make everyone not coming to the wedding insanely jealous

Warmest Regards
Neltoid

Coming Down Is The Hardest Thing

2007-01-29T17:32:00.000-06:00

A quick apology to Luke and Dave for missing your calls on Saturday. I was over at my stepbrothers and I left my phone in the car. Don't worry you didn't miss much, I just had a wild orgy with Wonder Women, Sheera, and the Little Mermaid.

Not much else new in the world of Neltoid. Mike pointed out to me today that it is 12 days until I land in Hawaii. I can't wait for the good times to begin.

later
cbn

The Way Things Are Going They're Going to Crucify Me

2007-01-26T15:07:00.000-06:00

Hey

Last night was a fun night.

Jeff's little sister Caitlyn took Jeff and I out for some free drinks. Caitlyn works for Earls and she was given the rough job of going to their competitors and comparing the prices of certain drinks. So Jeff and I being the great guys that we are went with and helped Caitlyn drink these beverages. We went to Moxie's, The Freehouse and the BarKing Fish, then we went to Earls where we had some more drinks and many delicious appetizers. Dave joined us at the BarKing Fish.

Not much else new to report.

Glad to hear that you got back to Cardiff safe and sound Nicole. Sad to hear that your place got broken into. I hope they catch the bastards.

See you Later
CB Neltoid

I Want You So Hard, I Want You So Good

2007-01-24T12:56:00.000-06:00

Hey Folks

My grandma's 80th Birthday was a huge success. The 16 members of my family were able to pose for long enough to get our portrait taken. I wore my classic grey pants with a black button up shirt. Lets just say I looked good.

After the portrait my dad took my sister, neice, and I out for dim sum at Genesis. It was delicious. Then we met up with our family again for a come and go tea at the Parktown hotel. And a lot of people came. Apparently my grandma is really popular. Then about 30 of us went out for supper at the Granada, which I had never been to before. I had chicken fingers and beer.

After supper I dropped my sister and neice off and then I went to Amigos for the Fjords show. As expected they rocked out with their cocks out(not literally). It was a good night, I saw a lot of good people who I had not seen in a while. I spent most of the night talking to Twyla, which was cool.

So that was my Saturday.

Sunday I watched football with Paul.

Superbowl prediction: Colts 24 - Bears 17

Monday I hung out with my neice during the day and watched 24 that night. I can't believe that Jack's brother and father may be involved in the most recent attacks.

Yesterday I went and had wings with Gilles, Nicole, and Luke. It was a good scene.

Unfortunately Nicole has to go back to Wales on Thursday. See you in May friend.

Later
neltoid

2007-01-19T19:59:00.000-06:00

720 Dunk—Better Quality

I don't know how many people who read this blog like basketball as well, but this blew me away. I have watched it repeatedly

Kick That Dirt Off Your Shoulder

2007-01-19T13:26:00.001-06:00

I am a bit dissapointed that a couple of certain people have been using there blog links to attack each other. You two should really go to therapy. I'll pay for it. Metallica went to therapy so can The Fjords.

Jeff and I had an excellent day yesterday. We played Madden 07 for a few hours then we went to Nino's for supper I had dry ribs, Jeff had chicken fingers. Jeff knew our waitress so we got free drinks which was cool. Then we went back to Jeff's house and played more Madden. I went 1 and 3, so the next time we play I am going to have revenge on my mind. It's a good thing I am such a good loser, right Jeff.

Tomorrow is my Grandma's 80th birthday and my family has a whole day of things planned. The first thing we are doing is a family portarit. By my calculations there will be 12 adults, 3 toddlers, and a baby, should be a gong show. What is a proper portrait outfit? I think I am going to go with a nice shirt and sweater combo.

Tomorrow is also the much anticipated Fjords comeback show. So everybody should come check it out. I'll be there.

Did anyone else notice that the results for the super villian tests for everyone else the highests percentages were in the seventies, but mine was in the nineties. Maybe I am pure evil.

One thing I know is that I am not a coward like the annonymous insulter.

I noticed yesterday that a person from Russia checked out my blog. So here is a special message for my Russian friends.
Christifanity одно поистине вероисповедание

Just Leave Him Alone, Cause The Boys Bad News!

2007-01-17T13:41:00.000-06:00

My sister forwarded a quiz which lets you know which super villian you would be. My results are not surprising. I hope my fellow nerds enjoy this.

Your results:
You are Apocalypse

Apocalypse		91%
Magneto		80%
Dr. Doom		79%
Dark Phoenix		77%
Mystique		74%
Poison Ivy		67%
Juggernaut		66%
Venom		62%
Catwoman		61%
Two-Face		58%
Lex Luthor		56%
The Joker		55%
Kingpin		45%
Mr. Freeze		43%
Riddler		40%
Green Goblin		30%

You believe in survival of the fittest and you believe that you are the fittest.

Click here to take the Super Villain Personality Test

later
neltoid

I Don't Know What's Better, Getting Laid Or Getting Paid, All I Know Is When I Get One The Others Getting Away

2007-01-15T13:50:00.000-06:00

Greeting Earthlings

Still no reply from the annonymous insulter. This person is clearly a coward. I am guessing they are a left-wing Liberal Pinko who hates freedom. This annonymous insulter really needs to put their money where their mouth is. If your grammar and spelling is so good that you feel you can insult mine then you should feel confident enough in yourself to compete in the grammar rodeo. If my grammar and spelling need improving then what do you have to worry about?

We had an excellent BC at Jerry's food emporium. I finally got to see Daved and Matteo. I had the Big Breakfast, it was good except for the bacon. I like my bacon crispy, not chewy. I guess I should have requested crispy, my mistake.

Dave and I played Lego StarWars the videogame on Friday which was quite fun.

Saturday after I spent all day at my stepbrothers watching football I went out for some drinks with Ryalls. Smith eventually joined us. It was good.

The season premier of 24 last night was pretty good. I can't wait to see what happens tonight. Those 2 years in a Chinese prison have definately changed Jack Bauer.

Later
neltoid

I'm Like A Russian Mobsta, Drinking Distilled Vodka

2007-01-11T21:11:00.000-06:00

We got 25 centimeteres of snow here, how ridiculous is that. Blizzards suck unless they are the delicious Dairy Queen version. It took my dad almost 2 and a half hours to drive home from work. Normally it doesn't take over 20 minutes to get any where here in The Toon.

Being stuck in the house does kind of suck, but I have been making the best of it. Thank God for booze! Am I right, Holla!
I have been playing some scrabble with my mom and to no ones surprise I am destroying her and of course catching up on some video games you know typical Christifanian stuff.

I hope no one got stuck in a crappy place (except for my annonymous insulter, I hope he/she got stuck in like the worst place imaginable and I can imagine a lot of bad places, this is assuming this person lives in The Toon. I am still waiting for this person to come forward. The grammar rodeo won't be to hard, especially for someone who feels superior enough to judge a persons grammar and spelling).

Kudos to Jeffy on the new blog. I'm surprised you have even done one blog Pederson. I hope my prediction that you will totally neglect this blog doesn't come true. Did you go to Edmonton? If anyone could drive through a blizzard it would be you Jeff.

Later

neltoid

Who Do You Know Fresher Then Neltoid?

2007-01-09T20:27:00.000-06:00

Looks like my annonymous insulter has yet to grow some balls.
If the annonymous insulter doesn't reveal themself soon I will have to start coming to some conclusions about this person and I will be forced to publish these conclusions. I can guarantee these conclusions will not be flattering.

Anyways....Apparently we are getting some blizzard action tomorrow morning here in the Toon. This of course means that the chances of me going out are slim.

Cold+Wind=Unhappy Chris

Here are some pics to take everyone's mind off the shitty weather

No One Insults My Grammar And Gets Away With It!

2007-01-08T17:05:00.001-06:00

It looks like someone has decided to attack me through my comments option of this my glorious blog.

If you people do not know what I am speaking of then go to my previous blog and read the second comment.

Apparently someone is not a fan of my grammar or spelling. Well I'm not a fan of people who leave anonnymous comments. If you want to insult me via the blog then have the balls to put your name behind the insult. This annonymous insulter has touched a nerve with me. I worked extrememly hard over the years to improve my grammar and that hard work landed me a B.A. and hopefully in the future more degrees. Now I fully admit that my blog has had grammatical and spelling mistakes, but that is not from lack of knowledge, but rather a lack of proof reading.

So I have decided to challenge this annonymous insulter to a grammar competion or better yet a grammar rodeo. Reveal yourself annonymous insulter and answer my challenge! You have awakened the vengeful beast that lays inside me. Prepare to be humiliated.

neltoid

Happy New Year To Some, Not All

2007-01-02T14:58:00.000-06:00

I hope you all had a good New Years Eve and Day. I spent the night with my friends sharing some drinks and laughter. We almost missed the countdown, but fortunately I glanced at a clock at 11:59pm.

I like the rest of my family seem to be battling a cold at the moment. I hate colds. It sucks because I finally shook the cold I got like a month ago and now I have another one.

I personally think that New Year's Resolutions are lame. Why wait until the new year to make a change in your life. But if I had to make a New Year's Resolution it would probably be too tone down my cornacopia of awesomeness so that other people can show their cornacopia's of awesomeness.

Later guys and dolls

neltoid

BOOM POW SURPRISE

2006-12-30T16:56:00.000-06:00

Hello folks.

I apologize if the last post was offensive or seemed different from my usual ramblings, I was drunk. Kudos to Embo though for being an excellent typist as well. I should hire a personal assistant so I can dictate all my blogs. And by the way I do not actually hate immigrants.

As I am sure you all know I came home from Europe for the holidays. I enjoyed my time in Europe. I saw some amazing things and I met some very cool people, but I was ready to come home. I decided it would also be the most fun to surprise people. So I did. Surprising people is really fun. I just like blowing peoples minds.
I will never forget the look on some of the peoples faces, namely my parents and seeing JB's jaw drop when he realized it was me. The best reaction came from my 3 year old neice who upon seeing me ran to my arms gave me a hug and started to jump up and down yelling my name.

At this time I would also like to give mention to my brother Paul who was the only member of my family in on the surprise and as part of the deal we made I will now officially make Paul the first Saint of CHRISTIFANITY, Congrats Aikenhead.

I am here until February 9th, so if anybody wants to get together I am available for boozing, drinking, partying, wine tastings, beerfests, and other social activities.

Later
Neltoid

Christifanity vs. lambs navy Rum

2006-12-26T23:38:00.003-06:00

it is the day after christmas and i am currently drunk with my good friends mike, deanna and EMBO, weve been playing a little mariokart as well as smoking some players, and doin some shots, and having some general merriment. We are about to go out to meet some dude EMBO knows, and i am going to grill him on being a jackass. Hopefully i can make this young lad change his jackass ways through the power of Christifanity. I believe i will be successful cause' im really cocky. In conclusion, Id like to wish everyone a Merry Christmas, and NOT a happy Holiday, because happy holidays is part of the war on Christmas. I also do not like Feliz Navidad because I hate immigrants. EMBo rocks the nation. and she is an excellent typest. peace and love. The Neltoid.

Tis' The Season To Be Drinking

2006-12-21T07:15:00.000-06:00

Hello everybody

I hope your holiday season is going smoothly. Mine has been pretty relaxing, you know beaches, sangria, hot spanish ladies that kind of thing. I am currently in the town of Alicante which is on the Mediteranian Sea. This is a big tourist town and it is crazy busy for the holidays.

I am staying at a really nice hotel that I found online for a really good price. It has been like a little vacation from my long vacation. I was also able to put my pics on a disc and henceforth on to a computer so I can share with you all. Here are some more.

These pics are of a giant beer I had in Nice, Me in Monaco, and of the beach in Cannes.

Later

cbn

2006-12-19T09:27:00.000-06:00

THE PICS

I guess I should explain where the pictures are from. The first one is of me at the Colessium in Rome, the second one is of me at the top of La Sagrada Cathedral in Barcelona. The third one is of Monte Carlo, number four is me riding a cannon at Cardif Bay, and number five is a painting of Gary Coleman's head which is on the side of the train station in Cannes, why is there a painting of Gary Coleman's head on the Cannes train station? good question I personally could not get an answer so I am forced to assume that Gary Coleman is still a huge star in the French Rivierra. I wonder if Gary knows this, I am sure he reads this blog so he will know soon enough.

Lounging in Alicante currently

neltoid

2006-12-18T08:15:00.000-06:00

AS PROMISED

First I would like to thank Mike for the recent pictures he sent me. It looks like I had a great time at BC. I hope I have an equally as good of time at the Bachelor party.

I said there would be new pics and I am a man of my word...Enjoy

2006-12-15T11:14:00.000-06:00

HELLO. IT'S ME AGAIN

I am bored so therefore I am blogging. Nothing new to report.

If I am not mistaking today is the 15th, this means that Nicole is on her way home as I type this. I am envious. I would love to be home for the holidays. I hope everyone in the crew enjoys BC tomorrow someone eat some bacon for me.

My stomach has been bothering me all day. Especially when I sit. Maybe my hernia is exploding(just a joke mom). It is probably gas or something I am sure it will pass with a good nights sleep and no drinking tonight. I usually do not put personnal things like this on my blog, but hey, got to type something.

I appreciated the CHRIStmas greetings Luke.

I am guaranteeing new pictures on my next post. If I don't have new pics up may my hernia explode(again, mom I am fine, stop worrying).

Feliz Navidad in 10 days

neltoid

2006-12-13T12:05:00.000-06:00

HOWDY Y'All

Barcelona is a cool city. Yesterday I went and checked out the Sagrada Cathedral. It was built by an architect who was a devout catholic and it is bizzare, but at the same time beautiful. I have some pictures and I will try and post them next week.

I also went to Las Ramblas which is a crazy pedestrian market in Barcelona. Bought some souveniers.

I do not know for sure where I am venturing to next, but I will be sure to keep you all posted on my whereabouts.

Later y'all

neltodium

2006-12-11T11:13:00.000-06:00

WHERE IN THE WORLD IS CHRIS NELSON?

Greetings

Yesterday when I was chatting with Nicole she mentioned I should blog more. I apologize if my lack of blogging for the past week has affected any of you negatively.

Anyways like I said in the last blog I did go up to Florence. It is a beautiful city, it also rained on me there. I still had my cold so I wasn´t as gun-ho as I usually am when I get to a new city, but I did manage to go check out the Duomo and Michalengelo´s David(the most famous sculpture in the world). It was much more impressive in person and unlike the Mona Lisa nad the Colesseum it was bigger then expected. I still prefer Chris Nelson´s David(love ya Browntown).

I also had my fair share of delicious gelati while I was in Florence, my favourite being Nutella. Nutella is the most delicious thing in the world. It is like spreading the inside of a Ferrero Rochner on anything(I must give credit for this analogy to Nicole a fellow Nutella lover). I also tried a particularily good pistachio gelati.

Christmas season is in full effect here in the old world. It just doesn´t seem right without snow. Lit up palm trees? what the hell!

Well that´s it for now.

Later peeps

Neltoid

Oh Yeah, the answer of the title is?
Barcelona

2006-12-06T15:07:00.000-06:00

CHRISTIFANITY vs CATHOLICISM

Today I ventured to Vatican city. I saw St peters Basilica which was very impressive andd huge.

I tried to get a face to face meeting with Pope Benedict, but apparently he is not man enough to have a sit down with a leader of a true religion. I bet John Paul would have seen me, he was a totally better Pope.

I also went and saw the Colessium. Very cool to see in person, not as large as I thought it would be. I would have been a kickass Gladiator

Off to Florence tomorrow

later

Maximus Nelson

2006-12-05T08:49:00.000-06:00

ROME IF YOU WANT TOO

One of the good things about me having a eurailpass is that I can go to places on a whim, and that is what I did yesterday. I am currently in Rome, it is very impressive, imagining being in a place where everytime you walk around the corner there is some kind of really old building or statue or church(lots of churches) I have not been able to see much of the really cool stuff because during my whim to come to Rome I developed a nasty cold. I am shocked that I had not gotten one earlier, I think I used my mental powers to ward off the cold until now(The 11 hour train trip weakened my mental powers). So I have been taking it easy, little walks here and there, but that is about it, I am hoping that I feel well enough tomorrow so I can go check out Vatican City and the Colosseum(I think I might do one of the cheesy tourist buses like Luker and I did in London). I am here until Thursday then I think I am going to go checkout Florence.

later
cb neltoid

2006-12-03T09:58:00.000-06:00

WHY DOES IT ALWAYS RAIN ON ME?

Greetings from the French Riveira. I have been in Nice for the past few days. The first day I got here it was beautiful. I sat on the beach and had some beers. Yesterday started out great the weather was alright and I hopped a train to Monaco. Monaco is amazing, the views are spectacular. I saw the royal palace and the exotic garden which has over 1000 varieties of cactus. It then started to rain and I did not have my umbrella because I figured it would be nice in the French Riveira so I left my umbrella in Wales because Nicoles was all mangled and didnt really work. Last time I do something nice for anyone.

Today it did not rain much, but everything was wet everywhere. I went to Cannes today and you could tell that they had a major downpour. This area is so funny, everyone has had a facelift and they all have small dogs. I think I am going to hang around this area for a little longer, maybe checkout northern Italy a bit before I go to Spain.

Later
cb neltoid

2006-11-29T16:17:00.000-06:00

C	Cuddly
H	Happy
R	Realistic
I	Intelligent
S	Stunning
T	Tame
I	Inspirational
F	Furious
A	Appealing
N	Neat
I	Irresistible
T	Tempting
Y	Yum

Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com

2006-11-27T11:23:00.000-06:00

HEY

It has been a pretty tame Monday here. Nicole made the easy decison to take it easy last night so we did not drink(we had drinks with supper, not crazy drinking). The beer and cider festival on Saturday was a lot of fun. I assume that many of you have gone to Nicole's blog and checked out the video's, if you havn't go do so.

Yesterday we went down to Cardiff Bay with a bunch of Nicole's friends from school to witness a tree lighting ceremony at a Norwegian church. The Norwegian politicain who was going to light the tree brought up a local little girl to help him light the tree. There was suppose to be a big countdown, but the little girl lit the tree prematurely and has now ruined Christmas for all the Welsh and myself. I maybe exagerating a little. After the tree was lit and the Norwegian national anthem was sung a bunch of Norwegian exchange students and local Cardiff children took part in the Norwegian tradition of dancing around the tree. This is a tradition I will be brining back to Saskatoon next Christmas. This Christmas I will dance around a bottle of Jack Daniels on a beach in the Alicante region of Spain.

Now here are some pics that I did yesterday when I was bored on the computer.

ABC yeah

2006-11-25T11:15:00.000-06:00

I HOPE YOU ALL ENJOYED MY DRUNK PHONE CALLS

Last night Nicole and I did a little bar hopping here in Cardiff. It was fun, Nicole spilt a rum and coke in her purse and almost got puked on by some dude. When we got home we decided it would be prudent to call some friends back home. I got a hold of Dave, Twyla an Eli and had a nice chat. Mike and Deanna wern't home so I left a drunken message, but I got to talk to Mike just a few minutes ago. We also video chatted with Luker. I also had a drunk MSN chat with Jeff on Thursday. Nicole and I have been drinking regularly.

Good Luck to the Huskies in the Vanier today

Here are some more pics

I believe they are of a fountain in Luccerne a swan in Luccerne, the Hungarian parliament, and the top of Notre Dame cathedral.

See yeah friends, (Nicole and are hitting the Beer and Cider festival tonight)

2006-11-24T10:10:00.000-06:00

Hey everybody, here are some new pics from my travels. The picture of me is in Geneva, The wrestling statue was in Luccerne, I also think there is one from the eiffel tower and one of the Louvre and also one of Interlaken

Cheers
christopher

2006-11-23T06:06:00.001-06:00

BACK IN CARDIFF

Greetings everyone, I am back in Wales. I got in late last night.

I believe that last thing I blogged about was beerhalls in Munich, Right? anyways here is what has happened since.

I went back to the Hofbrauhaus in Munich on my last night there, this time I brought along a fellow Canadian dude and two American chicks. I had more beer and more beer. It was great.

Then I got myself up after about 4 hours sleep and caught an 8 hour train to Berlin. My first day in Berlin I walked around and saw the Brandenburg gate and the remaining part of the Berlin Wall. The next day I went to Sachsenhaus which was a Concentration Camp just outside of the city. When you have just read and seen things on TV and movies about the Holocaust you think about how awful it was, but when you are standing in the place where hundreds of thousands of people were murdered it puts it in a whole new reality. It was a very somber day.

The next day I had to catch a train to Amsterdam so I could I could catch my late night flight to Cardiff. During the train ride we stopped in this small town for a really long time. Everyone was wondering what was going on. Then over the speakers a dude said that there was an unattended backpack on the train platform, if it was somebody's please go claim it. Nobody claimed the backpack. So every passenger on the train had to get moved to the two ends of the train because they thought it might be a bomb. Luckily I was in one of the last cars already and I got to sit down an wait for this to all unfold. I was also by a window so I got to look out and see the bag in question, I also got to see the guys with machine guns and scary looking dogs on the platform. After an hour of waiting around, One of the guys who was in the car with me looks out and realizes it's his backpack. Biggest idiot of the day. So he went and claimed the bag. The rail officials were not to impressed with this guy, neither were any of the passengers. I then finally made it to Amsterdam. Because of the delay I did not have much time to walk around and do some souvenier shopping. So I went to the airport and hopped my plane to Cardiff.

I am here for a week. Nicole has some fun stuff planned for us, mostly involving alcohol. It should be glorious

later friends and family

chris neltoid

2006-11-19T04:14:00.000-06:00

'Beer Has Been Scientifically Linked To Falling Down'--William Nelson

Hello all

I am currently in Munich Germany, the heart of Bavaria.

I am still amazed at the weather I have been getting here in the east. The sun is always shining. There are occasional bursts of rain, but they are few and far between.

Last night I went to the Hofbrauhaus, the most famous of all the beerhalls here in Munich. The place is crazy. It is a giant room with everyone drinking giant beers. We need a beerhall in the Toon. Maybe I will open one. I have to also point out that German beer is really strong. Let us just say I was a bit inebriated after two giant beers. But do not worry dad, I did not fall down.

I am here for one more night and then I am going to go to Berlin for a couple days before I go back to Wales to see Nico.

Unfortunately I could not make it to Rome for the TomKat wedding. Hopefully I can make it to Tom Cruise's next wedding.

Until the next time I feel inspired to type
Neltodium

2006-11-15T14:21:00.000-06:00

BUDA BUDA BUDA PEST

Greetings my blog family

I am currently in the city of Budapest. It is a large crazy city. I was expecting it to be kind of dirty and more eastern european, but it is actually quite clean and modern. It was also a beautiful day here today. I didn't do much touristy things today, mostly walked around my neighbourhood. Tomorrow I am going to go check out parliament and the chain bridge and maybe castle hill. I will also try and find this labrynth Twyla told me about. Do you remember what it is near twyla?

Before Budapest I was in Vienna Austria. I really dug Vienna, it was a big city, but it wasn't noisy and it seemed really laid back. I checked out the famous cathedral there, it was impressive, but no Notre Dame. Apparently this cathedral has been continually under construction since the 1700's. As I was leaving I noticed that everyone was blessing themselves with the holywater. And as you all know I do as the locals do, so I blessed myself. It kind of burned afterwards, What does that mean?
After that I went to the Hofurg Palace which was impressive. I chilled by some cool statues of some Austrian dudes.

I am in Budapest until Friday, then I am off to Munich then Berlin, before I head back to Wales. I have changed up my plans so that I am going to two countries I hadn't planned on going after I come back from Wales. man I love travelling.

Eternally yours

The Neltoid

2006-11-12T14:17:00.000-06:00

THE HILLS ARE ALIVE WITH COLD AND WETNESS

Salzburg has been very miserably cold. This has made it a bit hard to explore, but I have done my best. Tomorrow I am going to Vienna, and after that Budapest.

I have booked a place to stay for Christmas, it looks like my dream of being drunk on a beach is going to come true. More details to come towards Christmas

I am running out of time so I will cut this blog short.

Check you later

neltoid

2006-11-09T15:14:00.000-06:00

CATCHING SOME ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ's in ZURICH

I am currently in Zurich. It is a pretty tame city, very business oriented. So what do you do when you are in a boring city and you have already paid for 3 nights in your hostel? You take day trips. Today I went to Luzern also known as Lucernne (Like the milk) It is a beautiful town on lake Geneva. Unfortunately it was a bit rainy today, so I bought an umbrella. I walked around Luzern, took a bunch of pictures. Tomorrow I am going to either Bern or Interlaken. Interlaken is suppose to be amazing, that's why I'm leaning towards it.

There is a dude in my dorm room here who I think has been living in this dorm room for a long time. He's very old and he has crap every where around the room. He has bags full of newspapers in every corner of this 6 person dorm. There is a medium sized dresser between his bed and mine and all three droors are filled with random crap, like beer bottle caps and old phone cards. At first this guy really creeped me out(I think it was the muttering to himself) but now I feel sorry for this old guy. Being that old and having your entire life in a dorm in a hostel. If this ever happens to me, somebody please take me in.

Well my time in Switzerland is coming to an end. The sceneary in this country is amazing. It is worth coming here just to look around at the landscape. I have also noticed that the Swiss have a thing for fountains. There are fountains everywhere.

Saturday I'm off to Austria. First stop Salzburg, home of the Sound of Music. Apparently there are Sound of Music tours, we'll see how bored I get.

Later
Me, a name I call myself

2006-11-06T05:19:00.000-06:00

"THE GENEVA CONVENTIONS ARE QUAINT"--US Attorney General Alberto Gonzales

Alberto is right the Geneva Conventions are quaint, because this is a nice little quaint town. It is quiet here, which is a complete 180 from Paris. I enjoy a little quiet once and awhile. It's kind of cool when you walk down the street and you look to your left and in the distance you can see the Swiss Alps. I often have moments where I just can't believe I'm in some of these places.

Congrats to the Riders. Take that Calgary!
Was Gainer allowed on the sidelines?, someone let me know. It sucks that I am missing so many good sporting events like the CFL playoffs, The NFL, The start of the NBA season, Hockey, man I miss hockey, all they play here is "football", many people here also call it soccer though. What makes this worse is knowing that my stepbrother is watching all these things on a 50 inch high definition television. Damn you Paul! I take comfort in knowing that I will be back in time for NBA and NHL playoffs as well as March Madness

I also really miss LOST. Dave keeps on teasing me with little comments like LOST is so good this season and it's also sad. So many scenarios have gone through my head. It takes all the strength inside of me to not go look up what's going on online.

What else has happened recently? ummmm, oh yeah, Saddam got sentenced to death by hanging. Bush must have loved that. He does love the death penalty and I bet if he could have hung some people while he was Governor of Texas he would have.

Well I'm off to the UN

later
the toid

2006-11-04T13:47:00.000-06:00

I CONQUERED THE TOWER

Tonight is my last night here in Paris. So many places in Europe are hyped up and some live up to it and some don't. Paris definately does. This place is amazing.

Yesterday I went to the Louvre. I saw the Mona Lisa, the most famous peice of art in the world. It was a lot smaller then I had envisioned. The Louvre is huge. There is so many cool things to check out, including the Venis Demilo, which was impressive. There was also a mummy. Lots of other cool statues as well. My favourite being the one of Hercules.

Today I went up the eiffel tower. It was large and pretty cool. The view, as you all can imagine is breath taking. I went all the way to the top. I saw all the sights of Paris, like the Arc de Triumph, Oh Napoleon, you so crazy. I got a warm feeling in my heart knowing that I was in the very place where Tom Cruise preposed to Katie Holmes.

Tomorrow I am on a train at 710am to Geneva.

Luke, I got you a France patch, as you requested

Later.

cbn

2006-11-02T15:24:00.000-06:00

PARIS BABY

I have traded tea and scones for red wine and croissants

I have landed in one of the world's greatest cities. And I must admit it is pretty amazing here.

Now a quick recap:

Spent a couple of days in Cardiff, it is very nice there. I am actually going back in late November for the Beer and Cider festival(I found a cheap flight). Then The Luker and I went to London for a day. London was a really cool city, I would have loved to spend more time there, but I also love having some money in my pocket, very expensive. 3 pounds for one ride on the tube.
Luke and I took a double decker bus tour of London, we got to see all the major sights, including the changing of the guard at Buckingham Palace.

Luke took off Home yesterday and I caught a bus to Paris. The bus trip was alright. I got some sleep. The giant ferry over the English Channel was very cool. I got into Paris at night and quickly figured out the metro system, very easy. I was pretty tired so I just chilled out the first night. Today I walked around Paris. I also went to Notre Dame Cathedral. I could stare at the stain glass for hours. Tomorrow I'm thinking I will hit the Louvre and maybe some other museums. And Saturday I am Eiffel Tower bound.

Sunday I am going to Geneva Switzerland. The home of the European headquarters of the UN. I hope Kofi's there.

later
the neltoid

2006-10-30T10:18:00.000-06:00

Hello my people.

I hope you guys like the pictures. If you would like to see more pics from Bath, please feel free to click onto Nicole's blog, she has posted a few pics, including one particularily embarasing picture of me and my hair.

2006-10-30T04:54:00.000-06:00

HOWDY PARTNERS

Here are some pics from Bath

2006-10-29T10:10:00.000-06:00

LONDON CALLING

So much to talk about.

I left Bruge for Brussels. I sat next to a man with horrible BO. But who am I to talk.

Got to Brussels and got harrased by the UK immigration Bitch. She corrected me on how to say Newfoundland. I got through that ordeal. And I boarded a train to London where I met the man reading over my shoulder this very second, Luke Ryalls. We had a beer in London before we hopped a bus to Bath where we met Nicole. The three of us tore up Bath. That city will never be the same.

We are now in Cardiff so Luke can pick up his stuff before he comes home. Luke and I are going to London tomorrow where we plan to punch the queen.

More updates to come, including pictures

2006-10-25T08:34:00.000-06:00

I Killed My Knees

Brugge has turned out to be a giant drinking-fest. My two dorm mates are these two aussies named Alex and Jason. All three of us have been travelling alone, and our first night here in Brugge we decided to go out and have a couple beers at the bar at the hostel. This is where we met Claire another Aussie and Maude who is French. The five of us decided to go to central Brugge where we found a little club, that wasn't to impressive. Apparently Monday nights arn't big drink nights, but we made the best of it, thanks to tequilla.

The next day the five of us went and had a Belgium waffles, which were delicious, we also walked around the city a lot, and then we decided to climb the 366 step Belfry here in Brugge. If you are ever in Brugge I recommend doing it, you get an incredible view. After that we went to the Choclate Museum. Did you know choclate prevents cavities? I didn't. We also saw a demonstation on how choclate is made and of course there was free choclate.

As we were walking back to the hostel my knees started to feel funny, jello legs. Luckily an hour long nap and a little stretching and I was all ready to go drink the night away. Which I did. We met some Kiwi's(New Zealanders) at the hostel and we took them to the club we went the night before. The bartender at the club bought us all shots, I guess we were considered regulars. We ended the night with some Belgium frittens (fries). Apparently they were invented here and you are never suppose to call them French Fries.

Next stop London and Bath.

later
cbn

2006-10-23T04:49:00.000-06:00

Brugge or Bust

I have just landed in Brugges. It is a beautiful day here.

Brussels was alright. It is a very noisy city. The best part of Brussels was the Grand Market. It is a very cool square with shops and museums. A lot of old buildings. I ate some delicious belgian chocolate and drank some delicious belgian beer.

I had a private room in Brussels which was awesome. My last night in Amsterdam I had a full 12 people in the dorm and between the two people tag team snoring and the annoying Austrailian guy listening to techno music, I was ready to snap.

I hope everyone is doing well. Keep sending the emails and blog comments. It's great hearing news from home.

Later

nelsonium (the most precious element in the world

2006-10-19T08:00:00.000-06:00

Leaving Nether-Nether-lands

Tonight is my last night here in this very interseting country. I have many memories. The giant park in Rotterdam, the giant hookers in the Red Light District, and the giant statues of Emperial Japan I just saw at the Van Gogh Museum.

The Van Gogh Museum was a very cool experience. Along with the large collection of some amazing works by Van Gogh, there was also a large exhibit on Emperial Japan. Great statues, vases, and paintings. Van Gogh did some very cool Japan inspired work. My favourite period had to be the time he spent in Southern France. Great Paintings.

Today was a much different day then yesterday. Today was Van Gogh and amazing art, yesterday was The Sex Museum(there's so much I don't know) and the Hash, Marijaunna, and Hemp Museum. The Pot Museum was basically a building full of pro-marijaunna propaganda. It is right next to a greenhouse and I did get to see some very large plants.

Tomorrow I'm off to Brussels, to work on my beer muscles.

neltoid

2006-10-18T04:32:00.000-06:00

Lazy Day In Amsterdam

Today is a grey and miserable day here in Amsterdam. It has been raining on and off all day. This has kind of ruined my plans to walk to the Van Gogh museum. I think I am going to a couple things that are a bit closer to my hotel. Yesterday I took a canal ride through the city. It was very cool, both literally and figuretively.

Not much else to say. I am looking forward to going to Brussels in Friday. I don't know if I'm more excited about visiting a new country or the fact that I have a private room for 3 days.

2006-10-16T06:04:00.000-06:00

One of the things that I have realized here in Amsterdam is that it hard to get things done, I wonder why?

I don't have much time, so this will be short.

i am here until friday, I am going to Brussels friday, which should be intersting. then to Brugge. after that it looks like i'm going to meet Luke and Nicole in England.

2006-10-15T05:09:00.000-06:00

I Got A Contact High Walking Down The Street.

I have rolled into Amsterdam. And guess what the first thing I did was, Come On Guess. Weed, hooker, something else Well I'm going to leave it up to every ones imagination.(I actually got lost finding my hotel, that's the first thing I did).

I am also getting a contact high as I write this. My hotel is in the Red Light District, but it is in a quiet area. The only way I can describe the Red Light district is that it is a trip. I don't know how else to describe it. Weird, crazy, bizarre don't do it justice. And its only 1:05pm I can't imagine this place at night.

times runnign out
later

2006-10-12T09:57:00.000-06:00

Pass the Dutchie

I have landed here in Rotterdam. It seems like a nice city. Everyone here looks like my dutch uncle. It was cool taking the train today. Some awesome scenic views of Germany and the Netherlands. I am here for a few days before I head down to the red light district and the rest of Amsterdam.

Later

2006-10-10T04:25:00.000-06:00

Searching For German Heavy Metal Bars

Hello all.

After getting a good nights sleep last night (15 hours) I am feeling refreshed, and soar. I am soar because my bed is not that comfortable. Who would have thought hostel beds wouldn't be the most comfortable.

Frankfurt is kind of a boring city. I am leaving here early Thursday morning for Rotterdam in the Netherlands. I am spending two days in Rotterdam before I go to Amsterdam. I did some reading on the place I am staying at in Amsterdam. It is called the Bulldog Hotel and it is in The Red Light District. The cafe below the hotel is also the first marijauna cafe in the city. After learning all this I tried to change my reservations because I'm not down with sex or drugs, but alas I could not and I have to stay at this hotel.

From Amsterdam I think I am going to go check out Belgium. I have also been checking out ways to get to Cardiff so I can come see you Nicole. I may take a train from Brussels to London and then London to Cardiff, I'll keep you posted. Maybe I'll be there for Halloween.

Later peeps

2006-10-09T00:37:00.000-06:00

The Neltoid Has Landed

Well I am here in Frankfurt Germany. I have been up for the past 14 or so hours and I am starting to feel a little tired. It is 835 in the morning here and I can not check into my room until 2. I made the decision to take a cab to my hostel. This was a great move on my part, why you might ask, because my cab was a mercedes benz and we were going ridiculously fast on the Autoban. It was awesome. My hostel is situated right by the main train station as well as many sex shops and internet cafes. Everything a guy needs.

I was shocked at how fast it seemed my plane rides were. It felt like I barely left Saskatoon before we started landing procedures into Toronto. The Toronto flight was good because there was no one beside me and I got to stretch a bit. I missed time my layover in TO, I thought it was a couple hours it ended up only being like 40 minutes. The plane here to Frankfurt was packed no stretching for this 8 hour flight. I sat beside this nice older guy from Victoria who was on his way to Bucharest.

Flying at night is awesome, about an hour outside of Frankfurt we could see the lights of Amsterdam, it looked amazing. I ended up getting a little sleep on the plane. I unfortunately slept through Nacho Libre staring Jack Black. I will never know whether he got the girl or became a great Luchadore. I was however awake for the Notebook staring McGosling. There love was the strongest love ever.

I am sorry I did not get to see you jeff and kim before I left. Until February.

Well that is it for now.

I love you all

chris

2006-10-04T12:52:00.000-06:00

Don't Start To Flex Up In The Discotheque

Tonight is a glorious night, Why? because tonight is the season premeire of the best show on Television LOST. The only crappy part of my trip is that I will be missing LOST, but I have recruited my main man DB to tape all the episodes I will be missing. Your good people DB.

Speaking of my trip I leave on Sunday morning. I land In Frankfurt Germany. I have already booked a place to stay for a few days in Frankfurt. I am staying at a place called The Stay and Learn Hostel and that's what I intend to do.

This Friday October 6th I will be hosting a Chris Nelson Farewell Eurotrash party. All guests will be asked to dress like Eurotrash so I can get use to being around Eurotrash. These are my favourite pictures from my google image search of Eurotrash

I would also like to encourage all my guests to bring some cd's that they think I might enjoy so I can put them on my ipod. I have room for like 6500 more songs.

2006-09-26T23:49:00.000-06:00

Jim Dandy To The Rescue

Tonight sucked!

I spent the day babysitting my neice which was fine, but after I dropped her off things just started to suck. As I was driving home I bumped a curb on Taylor and it caused my tire to go flat. Not having CAA coverage and not wanting to pay for a someone to come put the donut on, I decided to change it myself. This is no big deal I know how to change a tire, my dad showed me one night when he got a flat years ago. So as I get out to start the process of jacking the car up it starts to rain heavily. I hate the rain. So I'm getting soaked, but there are still good people in this world, a guy came and gave me an umbrella. I never got his name, but I would like to say thank you to the dude who lives at 34 Cumberland Cres. Your solid in my book.
Because of the flat I missed going to a movie with M&D, sorry guys. And now I have to go to get this wheel fixed and I may have to buy a new rim which would suck.

This has put me in a bad mood, so I've decided to leave the country in a week and a half.

Sincerely
The Neltoid

2006-09-19T12:55:00.000-06:00

Oh My God It's A Mirage, I'm Telling Ya'll It's A Sabotage

I promised a politcal blog and I am not the kind of guy who breaks promises. So get ready and enjoy my political venom.

I havn't done a politcal blog in a while, so some of my opinions may be on some older issues.

First lets talk about the destruction of Lebanon by Israel. This was a huge disaster for Israel. They destroyed a country that had already denounced Hezbollah. And the Hezbollah soldiers were able to fend off the mighty Israel army. This is only going to make Hezbollah more bold. This war created more supprt for Hezbollah in Lebanon and it weakens the Israeli position in the region.

Next lets talk about Iran.

If any of you are worried about Iran, don't be. Iran wants nuclear power, for energy. Now the US beleives that we can't give Iran any nuclear capabilities because they might create a Nuclear weapon. All reports coming out of Iran are saying they are far away from acheiving nuclear power for energy and if they are far away from having nuclear power for energy then they are really far away from having nuclear weapons. Not to mention the fact that even if you do create a Nuclear weapon you still have to figure out a way to deploy that weapon. And if they even figured out a way to deploy the weapon, there target would likely be Israel, and I don't think they would de dumb enough to risk a nuclear war with Israel, they already have nukes and so does there good friend America.

Some people(Bill O'Reilly) also believe that it is very likely that the US will have to start military action in Iran. And they believe that war would be even more devastating then Iraq. This will never happen. Not enough troops. Besides if they do start a war in Iran, they wouldn't even use troops they would just bomb the shit out of the country. The US wouldn't care about winning over the people of that country.

I read a speech from George W, Bush were he stated that he believed that there is a religious movement going on this world. What kind of Religious movement? Well apparently he thinks that there is a religious movement of people who are supporting him and the war in Iraq. His proof of this is the fact that people have been telling him that they are praying for him. What a crazy asshole.

Well I'm going to go buy an Ipod

2006-09-13T12:13:00.000-06:00

I'll Be Calling Out To People Like A Casting Call

The inevitable has happened. It was announced a couple of days ago that there will be a big screen version of The Hobbit. Apparently Peter Jackson hasn't signed on yet to direct, but no one else can direct that movie.

I was covering a shift on the train at the zoo this past Sunday and I ran into an old friend. It was the same old friend you ran into Dave, the one who lives right by you. We had an excellent conversation. I hadn't had a good talk with her for awhile and I really enjoyed talking to her again. She sat upfront and came on a tour with me.

This Friday I'm going to a zoo staff windup. Free supper and bowling. Now I am not the greatest bowler, but I have decided to bring out my inner Lebowski. So I'm going to drink white russians and smoke a J before I go.

I realized that I have not done a political fueled blog lately. So I have decided that the next blog will be all about world politics. So get prepared because I'm going to throw down some mad political knowledge

My trip is coming closer and closer. Last week it all became real when my passport and my eurarail pass came on the same day. I look like a serial killer in my passport photo. Well at least I don't look middle eastern. They totally get racial profiled at airports.

Later

Chris Honcho

2006-09-06T13:08:00.000-06:00

I'm Bringing Sexy Back

I would first like to wish all my friends and family who are going back to school a good year. Remember school is cool.

I bought season 2 of LOST yesterday. I have to get my parents caught up on this season before October 4th when season 3 begins. My parents missed the last disc of season 1. They thought the episode where Boone died was the season finally. I got them straightened out.

I also got a new cell phone yesterday. It is much better then my old one. I also switched plans and I now only pay like $20 a month, but I still get a ton of minutes. I decided to take my cell with me to Europe. I won't make calls on it, but I will use it as a clock and alarm clock.

I'm glad to hear you beat Indiana Jones Dave. I know first hand that the last level is insanely tough. You must have spent a lot of time trying to beat it. Kudos.

Later Dudes

2006-09-04T13:18:00.000-06:00

In The City Of Compton, We Keep It Rockin'

I had an enjoyable birthday yesterday. I went to the Granary for supper with the fam. I had the Chicken Cordon Blue and salad wagon. Then went back home for presents and birthday pie. I got of bunch of things for my upcoming trip, like a Swiss Army Knife, a small carry on bag, and other small things. I'm having a BBQ at my dad's tonight to celebrate my birth with my dad's side of the family.

After my family stuff was done I went to O'Shea's with Dave. We were met by Twyla and to my surprise Jeff. I thought Jeff was still going to be in Edmonton, it was a nice surprise. Thanks for telling him about the drinking Kim. Bea also joined us. The five of us had some drinks, some laughs, and some good conversation.

I woke up this morning and I was told by my stepbrother that the Steve Irwin "The Crocodile Hunter" had been killed by a stingray. I was in shock. I loved the Croc Hunter. If you scroll down to the previous blogs you will see a picture of Steve.

R.I.P

2006-09-03T12:39:00.000-06:00

I Would Like To Thank My Parents For Bringing Me Into This World

Today is the biggest holiday in the religion of Christifanity. The day of my birth. This is like Christifanity's Christmas. So feel free to give gifts to your loved ones and of course to me.

It's hard to believe that I have been alive for a quarter of a century. So many memories.

For all you true believers who want to celebrate with me this evening, me and some of the prophets will be getting together at O'Shea's around 9-9:30pm. Please call me for any further details.

2006-08-31T19:37:00.000-06:00

FUNKYBOSS, FUNKYBOSS, Get Off My Back!

Tomorrow is my last full day at the zoo. Will I miss this job? I don't think I'll miss it, but I will look back on this job with mostly fond memories.

I hooked my dad up with an email address yesterday. I then had to explain to him over the phone about gmail and how he could send and check his account. Man am I patient.

Planning for my European vacation has been going well. I got my passport application sent off without any problems. I have a tentative plan of where I want to go. The problem is I would really like to go everywhere, but I don't have the time or the money honey.

Here is a map of Europe to give you guys some perspective. This is the unofficail intenerary:
Land in Frankfurt Germany, spend a few days Oktober festing

Go to the Netherlands, spend a week in Ampsterdam blowing all my money in the Red Light District, then spend another week touring around the rest of the country

Go to Belgium and work on my beer Muscles from Brussels and also go to Bruge where my good frien JB worked

Go to France and check out Paris. Then go to the Normandy region and check out some WWII historical locations

Go to London and hunt for the English Nelson's

Go to Wales and crash with Nicole

Then go to the French Riviera

Go to Spain and learn a little Spanish

Then to Italy to eat delicious food and check out the Vatican

Then a couple days in Greece

Then to Croatia

Croatia up to Hungary

From Hungary to Slovakia

Slovakia to Poland

Poland to Czech Republic

And then Czech Republic back to Germany for my flight home.

Then I spend three days at home before I go to Hawaii and Austrailla for a month and a half.

I'm tired just writing all that.

For all my fellow LOST fanatics. Season Three starts on October 4th. I will be here for the first episode, but then I will miss the next seven. I am going to rely on someone to tape the missed episode for me. I plan on watching them all during my three day visit home. Dave this sounds like a perfect job for you. You have nothing else going on in your life, right?

2006-08-26T20:46:00.000-06:00

I'm So Moving On, YEAH YEAH

Last Sunday I went into work and the train wouldn't start. As you could imagine I was crushed over the fact that I did not have to work. So to make myself feel better I went up to Mike's cabin early and surprised everybody.

Mike's cabin was a good time. It was both fun and relaxing which was exactly what I needed. Some highlights of the time at the cabin were swimming, boating, golfing, and being thrown from a golf cart by Mike's dad. Now don't worry I'm fine. I walked away with some bruises and soarness.

If you would like to learn more of the cabin go to Daves blog. The link is on the right.

So apparently the plan of having BC at my work is coming to fruition tomorrow. I honestly didn't think it would happen.

I was talking with Bea today and she commented on this picture below which is on my myspace site. I thought I would share it with the masses. Luke made this little pic.
"I'll see you in heaven, forever baby"

2006-08-19T16:59:00.000-06:00

It's The Knick Knack Paddy Whack Still Riding Cadillacs

I am glad to hear that you are coming back to the Toon for a while Gilles. We will definately do some coolin. Ice Cube style

"I make dough, but don't call me Doughboy"

Tomorrow I am heading up to Mike's cabin for a little R&R. It should be a good time. Mike, Deanna and Joel are already up there and Dave, Twyla, and Eli are heading up today. I'm going to drink Eli under the table.

Well I have not much else to say. The zoo hasn't been bothering me as much lately so not to much to bitch about on that front.

Later Christifanians

2006-08-13T22:22:00.000-06:00

I'm High On Life, Yeah, I'm Fucking Wasted

Not much new and exciting things happening. I went to the Fringe on Friday with Joel, Mike, and Deanna. Dave was suppose to meet us, but he wussied out. We did some drinking at some different places. A good time was had by all. Mike, Deanna and I cabbed home. We ended up at their apartment where Mike BBQ for us. Your good people Mike Larson.

Dave and I got together on Saturday and had a meeting. Dave beat me at video game hockey. I'm still bitter. It was a fun evening despite the little scare that happened.

dave made me squeal

2006-08-09T13:39:00.000-06:00

I'll Be Where The Eagles Are Flying Higher and Higher

The newest thing that drives me crazy at work is when people who sit right behind me on the train talk loudly on their cell phones for the entire tour. I had a lady who did this for the entire zoo and heritage tour. I was ready to punch her. It is very distracting. I very passive aggresively cranked the voulume of my microphone, not only could I not hear her, but I'm guessing she was having problems hearing who ever was on the other line. Thank god I only have a couple more weeks there.

Well its official. I am taking off. Not to the great white north like in that Rush song, but rather to Europe. I leave October 8th. I land in Frankfurt, just in time for Oktober Fest. I will then be backpacking across the continent. Some people may say that I can't hit every country in Europe, I say those people are pessimists and I am a raging optimist. I then comeback to Saskatoon in early February for a few days before I go to Hawaii for M & D's wedding and from Hawaii to Sydney Austrailla for a month of Down Under Debotchery.

This will be me when I'm down there

2006-08-05T12:56:00.000-06:00

I Asked You To Go To The Green Day Concert, You Said You Never Heard Of Them, How Cool Is That! So I Went To Your Room And Read Your Diary

The Fjord's beer night was in my opinion a success last night. A lot of people showed up, including Jeff's, Kim's, and Luke's parents. Jim stole the show for a good portion of the night. The best thing Jim did was table pound a beer with Ken (Luke's dad). The worst thing Jim did was puke on a table in front of a bunch of people, fortunately I went to the bathroom just before the puking happened so I missed it. Watching Jim puke seemed to really affect Dave.

As I predicted I got pretty drunk. It was good drunk, I wasn't stumbling around I was just having a good time. I saw some good people who I hadn't seen in a while, like Chris Cotton and Zuri Epp. I also met Kim's parents and I had a nice little convo with them. I also told Bev (Jeff's mom) all about my upcoming trip to Europe. Bev also drove Jeff, Kim, Dave, and I home. That's Solid

I always new Dave was a hippy tree hugger

Here's a pic of me and D. This was when the neck beard was just a dream, now it's a reality.

2006-07-31T22:37:00.000-06:00

I Must Confess, My Destiny Is Manifest

I had a stellar weekend. Friday I went to Kaid's birthday BBQ which included a free keg. Free kegs are great. That's the second free keg I have had access to this week. Life is good. I got to see a lot of people who I havn't seen in a while at the par-tay. Your a king Kris Olsen. We'll have that lunch with our mom's real soon. I also met a girl who has made out with both Cavanaugh brothers. As expected I was shocked by this info.

Then Saturday I went to a BBQ hosted by Dave and Twyla at Dave's parents place. This was also a very enjoyable night, but for completely different reasons. I also saw Milo drink from the pond. What a funny kid.

Speaking of kegs of beer, if any of my loyal readers want to go to a Fjord's beer night this Friday let me know. It's at Winston's between 7-9pm. It's $10 bucks per ticket, but you get access to a keg, so its really an awesome deal.

I'll be there, DRUNK OFF MY ASS!

I am officialy at the point of being sick of my tour job. I have become a grumpy bitter tour guide. If people could only read my mind sometimes. I am a mean bastard in my head. Only to those who deserve my venom. I am just so sick of the stupid questions. The closest I have come to being rude is today when some women asked me what time the train was leaving. I was standing by the giant clock that advertises what time the next train ride is, so I said to her in what could be conceived as a rude tone "What does the Clock say" Let's just say that I am glad I have the next two days off, because if I had to work tomorrow I might go off on a person.

2006-07-27T20:18:00.000-06:00

What's My Name? G-SPOT!, What Do I Rock? The G-SPOT

I noticed today that I hadn't blogged in over a week. That's just not acceptable. I apologize to all of you.

I havn't had much to blog about my week at the zoo was pretty tame. Nothing terribly exciting or funny. I helped a lost little girl find her Grandma today.

Went to a BBQ with Mike at Mark Ferguson's house this past Sunday. Free keg of beer and delicious food, nothing beats that. I have two BBQ's to go to this week, I love the summer.

My Uncle asked me what I thought about what was happening in the middle east with Israel and Lebanon. My response was that the Middle East was a question that has no answer, it is a total mystery. Like how'd they get the caramel into the Caramilk bar.

Great Middle East analogy, or the Greatest Middle East analogy?

2006-07-18T17:03:00.000-06:00

Nice Guys Get Washed Away, Like The Snow And The Rain

So I got an email from a Phd student in Los Angeles who is doing part of her Phd on blogs. She wants me to do a survey. Dave and Luke did you get an email. I was wondering if she sent mass emails to blogger users or she just picked mine. Apparently if I agree my blog will also be used in classes as well. Maybe this will be the first step towards Christifanity becoming the world wide movement I envision. Anythings possible.

I had a stressful day at work yesterday. I am not going to go into great details, but I will just say I got two 10 year old kids banned from the zoo. And I don't feel bad.

To help relieve my stress I went to Superman Returns with Dave and my stepbrother Paul. I would say its a quality picture. Visually pleasing.

We also saw the trailer for Spiderman 3, it looks awesome.

2006-07-15T13:34:00.000-06:00

I've Always Had A P.H.D, A Pretty Huge Dick

Remeber when I dropped this line at Mike and Deanna's one night. That was hilarious. I'm Great. It wasn't inappropriate at all

Here is my weekly recap of the interesting things that happened to me at the zoo:

The best thing that happened this week was yesterday. There were these two teenager dudes at the zoo. One was big and tall and the other was scronny. So I'm on a tour and these dicks through some stones at the train. I stop the train and give them hell and tell them I'll have them kicked out if they do it again. So for the rest of the day whenever they would see me doing a tour they would eyeball me. So they decided to walk right past me when I was waiting for someone to get on the train and they eyeball me. Then the big one whispers something to the little one (probably a slam against yours truly) and they start laughing. So I say to them "So are you two on a date", "It looks like you two have some real chemistry", "Are you having a fun date at the zoo" Both of these two losers get all flustered and say stuff like "what" "no" I think the realized that they were messing with a far greater power then they expected and they turned away and walked away. I had thought of the burn earlier in the day and I was happy that I got the oppurtunity to use it.

Thursday when I was in the booth a dude driving an orange VW van tried the old jedi mind trick to convince me that he did not have to pay the $2.00 parking charge. He did the little hand wave and said to me "I do not have to pay the parking charge" My response "jedi mind tricks don't work on me only money" Just like Watto in the Phantom Menace

I watched Revenge of the Nerds yesterday on one of my new TV channels. It was uncensored and hilarious. Every time I think of ROTN I think of day Dave and I spent in Surrey B.C. Good times hey Brown-town

Best shirt ever!

2006-07-12T13:14:00.000-06:00

For The Day I Die, I'm Going To Touch The Sky

It was good to talk to Luke and Nicole today. I am glad to hear that you guys are doing well. You are both missed by me. I have no one to go out with anymore.

So yesterday we got Max from sasktel, so we have all these channels now. My stepbrother and I watched this show on my favourite channel National Geographic channel. The show was called "The Darkside of Chimps" And let me tell you that chimps do have a darkside. Chimps are coming in closer contact with humans in Africa and chimps also love meat. So the chimps prey on the weak humans mainly babies and infants. That's right chimps kill babies. Chimps also murder other chimps. They showed actual footage of groups of male chimps who go out on treks to find male chimps from other territories and kill them. It blew my mind.
I thought chimps were cute, now I think there evil. Chimps killing humans is the first step towards Planet of the Apes becoming a reality.

BE AFRAID!

2006-07-10T12:57:00.000-06:00

Now I'm Rapping About Money, Hoes, And Rims Again

It's nerd time:

The sequel to The Fantastic Four movie is called "Fantastic Four and the Silver Surfer" That's right Silver Surfer is finally making his big screen debut. Who is playing the Silver Surfer? Nobody, he is going to be all computer generated.

Season 2 of LOST comes out on DVD September 5th.

I am happy to report that I have gotten my mom and stepdad also hooked on the best show on TV. Soon you will all become LOST fanatics.

I'm off to work. Going to go coolin' with my animal homies

2006-07-08T16:38:00.000-06:00

Just Like A Prayer I'll Take You There, It's Like A Dream To Me

I have one more thing I forgot to post on my last blog. If any of you are ever in Hague Saskatchewan you must go to the Shell station. The women who works there in a dead ringer for Stephen Harper. That's right a lady Harper. And I am not talking a little like the PM, I'm saying his exact twin. Imagine Stephen Harper wearing pink lipstick and earings

I thought I would also share this picture.

Best Uncle Ever!

2006-07-06T20:36:00.000-06:00

8675309, I Got, I Got, I Got, For A Good Time Call

I am back from my little vacation.

It was very relaxing. I sat on the beach, I went for hikes, I drank nothing but beer and water, I had gourmet meals and the best part is that I paid for none of it.

On the way home I was by myself and I found myself rocking out to Ashlee Simpson. Damn Saskatchewan radio. I could have kept this to myself, but I decided that it was best to share this embarassing moment.

When I was a kid and on a road trip I would always pretend that we were racing the other cars. When ever my dad would pass somebody I would think that we were beating the people we passed. I still think this today. I am a passing machine!

I found myself bored some nights. When your living a suite with a 2 year old you can't really be noisy at night, so here are some pictures of me bored in my room.

2006-07-03T21:20:00.000-06:00

I'm Sick Of Looking For Love On A Spaceship!

The blog title comes from the rap album of Brian Austin Green. Yeah that's right David Silver from Beverley Hills 90210. Don't ask me how I know this.

One Stop Carnival, lamest rap cd title ever!

I was happy to hear that Lil' Kim got released one month early from jail. Good Behavoir does pay off.

Gilles barbequed deer sounds delicious. Every day at work I'm going to be thinking about which breed of deer tastes the best. Is it White-tailed deer, or maybe its Fallow deer, there European. Or could it possibly Mute Deer. I like Asian food, maybe its the Sika deer that can be found throughout Asia.

I'm going up to Waskesui tomorrow for 3 days of rest and relaxation. Until then, Adios my Muchacho's

2006-07-01T15:43:00.000-06:00

With Glowing Hearts We See The Rise, The True North Strong And Free

Happy Canada Day to everyone. If you don't love Canada then "Suck It !"

Thursday was insanely hot. It was as hot as balls. We ended the tours early beacuse it was so ridiculously hot. I was drenched in sweat, I ended up going home and sleeping for a couple hours. Then I went and had a beer with David.

Starting in a couple weeks we are doing heritage tours at the zoo. This means that in addition to the tour of the zoo I also get to take the train around the park and point more shit out. This also means that I have to learn another script. I am actually kind of psyched about it. The day goes by a lot quicker when your actually doing tours and these heritage tours will eat up a lot of time. I was also getting kind of bored with saying the same old BS over and over again. The past few days I have been giving the tours in a very dull and boring manner.

You meet so many people at my job. I gave mayor Atchison and his family a private tour earlier this week. There was also this family who ended up telling me their life stories. First the Grandpa came up and started talking to me about how he has had 3 heart attacks and he couldn't possibly walk around the entire zoo, then his son came over and started telling me about his daughter who was completely deaf until a few months ago when she had some surgery where they drill little holes in your skull and put permenant hearing aids in there. I just gave your basic come backs like "wow" and "really".
Then this dude started giving me hell when I was in the booth becuase the cities website didn't state that there was $2.00 parking charge at the zoo. What the hell could I have done? hack into the website and change things for this dick.
Last week some bitch was complaining to me because the tiger was just lying there and not moving around. I told her that on hot days all the animals usually lay in the shade. What was I suppose to do hop in there with the tiger and see what happens.
In an earlier blog I was wondering why I get paid fro my job because a lot of it is sitting around reading. I figured I get paid because of the services I provide, touring and info. I now realize that I get paid to put up with stupid people and their bullshit.

England lost to Portugal at the World Cup in Penalty Kicks. Damn Portugeuse. Italy beat a weak Ukraine team. No offence to my Ukrainean friends. Also no offence to the Portugeuse as well. France beat Brazil today, so I am now cheering for France.

We went back to Lee's for BC today. The dude there gave me a little guilt trip about how we hadn't been there for a while. Sorry Lee's guy.

2006-06-28T14:36:00.000-06:00

Couldn't Afford A Car, So She Names Her Daughter Alexis

Not much to say today. It's Mother Fucking Hot! Sorry for the Profanity, but there is no other way to describe the hotness. Apparently next Wednesday its going to be 37 degree. Hopefully it will be a bit cooler in Waskesui were I will be. All you other people have to seriously stop polluting mother earth and destroying the ozone layer.

Dave you have to let me know Lohan's myspace address, then my cyber stalking can begin. First we will become myspace friends, then real life friends, and then we'll hook up, and after that I'll marry her get a quicky divorce and get half of her cash. Brilliant!

I am now officialy cheering for England in the World Cup. TnT made their country proud, but no onew expected them to make it to the elimination rounds. England deserves the World Cup. I know your cheering for Italy Dave, but Italy blows.

Yeah! Three Lions Baby

2006-06-27T10:20:00.000-06:00

I've Got A Solar Powered Laser Beem Guitar

Hello friends

One of the draw backs of working at the zoo is everybody thinks your an animal expert. I'm no zoologist, I'm a political scientist! I perform mad crazy political experiments in my laboratory. I also don't like looking like a fool when people ask me questions that I don't know the answer too, so I make educated guesses. They're probably all wrong, but who cares.

I have to put my two cents into this whole other Fjords issue. These dudes in North Carolina are obviously idiots if they think that you guys can both have the name, "the j is silent" what a bunch of tools. I think they key to this whole situation isn't to ask them to change their name, but to break their spirit. I brainstormed a few ideas last night. One of them being me sending a series of pictures of me giving them the finger. There is also an idea that involves phony lawyers and knife fighting (ask for details).

2006-06-23T23:33:00.000-06:00

I'm Down By Law, And I Know My Way Around

Well it's 11:30pm and I have nothing better to do then blog. I'm too tired to go out and the best thing on TV is Mighty Ducks 2.

If I remember correctly Dave and Twyla said they won't be doing BC this week so I will take the bull by the horns and organize something.

Sean Clark I am glad to hear that you are enjoying the blog. I wil never get too techno advanced, I'm immature 4-life. Please feel free to forward the blog address to anyone you feel will enjoy my musing and thoughts. And congrats on winning the playoff pool. I'm proud of my huge jump in the standings. I also enjoy the links in your emails, keep them coming.

In the future when hovercrafts become the normal form of transportation I am going to start a hovercraft gang. The problem is finding a good gang name. I know what you are all thinking, what a great idea, well like all great ideas I am not the first to think of it. Hunter S. Thompson had the idea in his book Hell's Angels which I am currently reading.

Today was free admission day at the zoo. This means that the zoo was insanely busy. Almost 1200 people took the tour. My voice was horse after my shift from talking so much. My patience was wearing thin near the end, but don't worry I kept it together. One of my worst fears is that I will run over one of the peacocks during the tour. Do you think I would get fired? People before Peacocks!

Dave I saw your mom at the zoo today, we had a nice chat.